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May 26, 2007
May 20, 2007
I found the following on Charlene’s other blog (which I enjoyed reading by the way my friend). Now, you probably all know, I’m not overly fond of my kids (you know what I mean), but I am incredible protective of them, after all, they are mine, and I want them around so I can enjoy them leaving the nest!! Reading the following really touched me. It wasn’t credited to anyone, so I cannot name the authour for you, but I thought it was worth sharing, and it reminded me that I AM a mother.
I also thought it worth sharing as friends of ours lost their son last night. We have a large ‘boy racer’ culture in NZ. Scotty was killed at an illegal street drag. He came from a good family, but he made some bad choices, and got into the wrong crowd, and has has lost his life over it. I feel for his mother, and there is nothing I can say to her that will matter…
The following made me think that we can only do our best, the rest time we are just holding our breath, waiting to see if they come out the other side .
Being A Mom
We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of “starting a family.” “We’re taking a survey,” she says half-joking.” Do you think I should have a baby?” “It will change your life,” I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. “I know,” she says, “no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations.”
But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of childbearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.
I consider warning her that she will never again read a Newspaper without asking, “What if that had been MY child?” That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die. I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of “Mom!” will cause her to drop a souffle or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.
I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby’s sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.
I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no Longer be routine. That a five year old boy’s desire to go to the men’s room rather than the women’s at McDonald’s will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.
Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her That eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she Will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs. I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.
My daughter’s relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.
I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with Women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.
I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.
My daughter’s quizzical look makes me realize that tears Have formed in my eyes. “You’ll never regret it,” I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter’s hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings …
May 10, 2007
…Linda over at Chloe’s Place. She has popped her head back up into blogland. Please go and leave her a comment, telling her we miss her and want her back. If you haven’t come across Chloe’s Place before now, go and check her archives, she is a fantastic CQer, and her blog is well worth an afternoon.
May 9, 2007
I have been tagged by Sharon B to reveal 7 things about me. What to tell you…
1)I cry at the airport always, whether I know people or not. It’s just always so freakin’ sad…or happy!!
2)I struggle every day with ‘mummyhood’. It is only the fact that they are good looking and intelligent that gets them and me thru the days, and it’s apparently socially unacceptable to abandon your children and to return to your no committments, sex, drugs and rock’n’ roll lifestyle that you enjoyed(?) prior to children.
3) I have told this before – I have tattoos and mutiple piercings (came with the aforementioned lifestyle)
4) People who knew me in that aforementioned life, find it hard to equate me with the rather responsible, reliable and respectable person that I am now. Maybe those kids are good for something after all.
5) I LOVE reality TV, the trashier the better
…later…
6) I am actually quite content with my life. I DO love my kids (just in case there is any doubt) and I have a great partner…just sometimes…you know
7) I knew a friend was pregnant before she knew, I knew it was twins, and I know it is boys, which I can’t say out loud, because she desparately wants girls. I know alot of things before they happen.
I am supposed to tag seven more people. If you would like to respond please do so, if not, well I knew you wouldn’t anyway (haha)
1) Lauri
2) Anita
3) Alison
4) Dy
5) Sandie
I can only do 5. The online community is quite small and most have already been tagged.
…and Cat. i would like to know seven things about Cat.
May 7, 2007
Well, I can finally announce a new blog on the block! I have been waiting for weeks. I am a co-owner of the Crazy Quilting International group, and myself and the other co-owners have been brainstorming lots of ideas to keep the group fresh and active, resulting in a blog, so that the rest of you in the CQ community get to share in all the great work that the group members do. So often, the RR pics stay within the group albums, and never get to be enjoyed, or to inspire the wider online community. You know, there are actually people out there who don’t blog!! I know, but they do great CQ, so we forgive them. LOL
Why did I have to wait? Well, the group didn’t know!! We have also started up a monthly newsletter, and the big blog announcement was made today with the publishing of this months newsletter. So please, go and enjoy
May 5, 2007
The wonderful Sharon B has come to my rescue with two great little tutorials about ric rac roses. I did follow Kathy’s link also, but having Sharons ‘as you go’ pics is just like being there really.
Thankyou Sharon. As if you don’t have enough to do, you took the time to do this for me, which I know is harder than it looks, making something and taking pics at the same time. YOU ROCK!
Now, I am on a ric rac mission….see you.
May 4, 2007
….. I have to know how to make these. Ric rac roses. Don’t you think these would look G-R-E-A-T on a CQ block. I am scouring the web as we speak, but no luck yet. If you know somewhere, or someone, you HAVE to tell me!!
I saw these (in a round about way ) at Necessary Chocolate. How cruel to just post a pic and no instructions.
April 26, 2007
…but I figure what the heck, it’s my blog. My quandry is because the post is not CQ related, and it is personal, and I don’t share much of myself at the best of times, let alone to the world!!
My best friend is moving. I am heart broken. I can’t even think about it without crying.
When I met Rob I moved to a new suburb with him, and when I had kids, and stayed home I knew no one. Then I found Playcentre , which at least gave me some adult contact. But I don’t make friends easily, it is very hard thing for me to just walk up to someone and start chatting. I don’t have the chat gene. I can talk about things I know, which is why I can facilitate workshops well, and confidently, but people always think I’m joking when I say I am not socially confident. I’M NOT! I’m great once I know you, but the catch is that getting to know bit, and I’m no good at it. And because I am not good at it, I avoid it, and I am percieved as a snob or a bit aloof, when really I am just darn right scared.
The only reason Belinda and I became friends is because she invited me to her place for coffee. I have made no other ‘friends’ in that time. Of course I know people to chat to within Playcentre, but a girl needs a little more, ya know? Someone to laugh with, and be totally at ease with.
I feel so lost., and I don’t know what to do with myself, and I can’t be happy for her, which makes it worse.
More than you needed to know I know, but I will be feeling this way for a while….
April 23, 2007
I know, I get to rant about someone other than yahoo. I guess I shouldn’t really rant, as what they provide is free, but does that mean I should expect an inferior service!! They must get money from it somewhere…
anyway, to the purpose of the post. I decided to check my spam folder before deleting them, and OMG!! there are so many comments going into that folder. There is far more love out there for me than I knew. So thankyou for commenting. I apologise profusely if I haven’t answered any question or queries – Melissa I will try and do that close up for you hon .
I am sorry, I try not to be a neglectful blogger. I do try to answer questions when asked, although for a mini blogger rant, it would be terrrrrrribly helpful if you made your email public so that those of us that like to reply personally, can do so easily when your comments come thru.
Sorry, sorry sorry……
April 21, 2007
http://www.flickr.com/photos/artbraproject/sets/72157594540436316/
This is the link to the blocks i talked about yesterday that Allie is putting together. These are on flickr, so you can get a good look.
